Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Random midnight rant :) about love. :D

So i was always so caught up in everything i did. Everyone i talked to, every feeling i had, but i never truly payed any importance to how i felt about you. It was always somehow about those 20 minutes apart and how rarely we saw each other and all that. Then it was about how i felt about him and not you and i know i’ve written here how much i regret leaving you for him but i never truly understood it until today. I actually loved you. or well i still love you. It’s not something that can just fade away. I do still love you and i’ve loved you ever since i threw that munchkin at you in 6th grade. I just never knew it. You were so adorable. I remember how you went out with meg when i still liked you. I even told her but she was ahem *really into you* but after you broke up, apparently she went out with you because she felt forced into it? i never understood that but forget it. I remember in 8th grade how we used to always flirt in french even if it wasn’t normal flirting haha but still it was whatever. What i loved the most is when we got super close to each other last year. There wasn’t one day that went by without us talking or flirting on facebook. Every five seconds you would post something cute on my wall and i’d blush but obviously you’d never see me blush haha this one time i remember we were talking about how cute bunnies are and it was soo corny but you said that i was cuter and than the cutest bunny and then the week after we started going out. I don’t know how to even explain it. This was different than any of the relationships i had been in. This felt. I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I just regret it so much that i broke up with you for a failed relationship that …. anyways. It’s not that i wan’t you back or anything. I wrote all this because i now realized that i love you and i did love you. and i don’t know if you ever did or not and i don’t mind if you didn’t. :) i’m fine with it and i know you truly deserve to be happy and i don’t know why she would leave a great guy like you but it’s her loss and trust me, i would know. When i found out about it today, I honestly wanted to talk to you. I wanted to tell you that it was going to be arrite and that you’ll be fine and to never change because you’re such an amazing person but i know i can’t tell you all that because for obvious reasons but still, I miss you kid :)


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